I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDSI cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
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I drink therefore I am.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS