black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

W. C. Fields

I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

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