Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDSJust like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
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I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
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I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
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Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
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I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS






