black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

W. C. Fields

Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself People Religious Sanity
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes