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Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.

W. C. Fields

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS

Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself

Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.

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Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.

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