black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.

W. C. Fields

Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS

Care Husband Wife
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.

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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.

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