black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Never give a sucker an even break.

W. C. Fields

Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS

Break Himself Honesty Man Myself Smart Yourself
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel

Never give a sucker an even break.

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Never give a sucker an even break.

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