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I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
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Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
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Habit Mad Myself Weird
I drink therefore I am.
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Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
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Beautiful Herself Love Myself
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
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Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
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Better Sex Worst
Never give a sucker an even break.
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Break One Liner
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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Deep Reality Tragedy
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
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Life Myself Young
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
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Company Myself
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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Need Quit Stupidity Time
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
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Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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Choice Inspirational Yourself
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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Man Pain Woman

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