black
grey
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I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.

W. C. Fields

I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason

I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.

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I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.

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