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I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W. C. Fields

Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Evidence Success Yourself
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS

Care Husband Wife
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself

I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

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I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

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