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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

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I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
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Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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Alive Funny Old World
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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Drive Grateful Myself Reason
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
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