Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDSI drink therefore I am.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
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Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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I drink therefore I am.
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I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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You can’t cheat an honest man.
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It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS