The first thing you have to do if you want to raise nice kids, is you have to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they’re property.
FRANK ZAPPAAll your children are poor unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control
More Frank Zappa Quotes
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We could improve worldwide mental health if we acknowledged that parents can make you crazy.
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A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.
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The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own.
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The computer can’t tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what’s missing is the eyebrows.
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The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else’s life.
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I don’t want to see any religious people in public office because they’re working for another boss.
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Stupidity has a certain charm – ignorance does not.
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A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.
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Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.
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To me absurdity is the only reality.
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Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.
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The richest people in the world aren’t particularly smart or happy. And the happiest people in the world aren’t particularly smart or rich. That leaves me making music. But we can’t talk about that.
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Music is always a commentary on society.
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If you pick up a guitar and it says, ‘take me, I’m yours,’ then that’s the one for you.
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There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it’s going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.
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Don’t go to bed with any woman crazier than you are.
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The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.
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I don’t want to spend my life explaining myself. You either get it, or you don’t.
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Environmental laws were not passed to protect our air and water, they were passed to get votes.
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If we can’t be free at least we can be cheap.
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May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face.
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So many books, so little time.
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Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.
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Science is moving closer to weaponry, and Art is moving closer to commercialism. And never the twain shall meet.
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Don’t mind your make-up, you’d better make your mind up.
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You are what you is, you is what you am, you ain’t what you’re not. So see what you got?
FRANK ZAPPA