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Always drink upstream from the herd.

Will Rogers

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
WILL ROGERS

Funny Humor Theory Woman
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERS

Joke Pratical Trouble
Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.
WILL ROGERS

Government Pay Thankful
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
WILL ROGERS

Death Grandfather Peace Scream Sleep
You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.
WILL ROGERS

Greatness Judgment Man Missing
If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.
WILL ROGERS

Die Dog Heaven Want
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
WILL ROGERS

Art Diplomacy Finding Rock
There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
WILL ROGERS

Failure Formula Guarantee Please Try
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
WILL ROGERS

Education Man Stupidity
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
WILL ROGERS

Dog Politics Reason
The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
WILL ROGERS

Fight Ignorant Quick
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
WILL ROGERS

Learning Men Observation Reading Stupidity
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
WILL ROGERS

Ignorance Newspaper Reading
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
WILL ROGERS

Business Experience Inspirational Judgment
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
WILL ROGERS

Fly People Rage
If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.
WILL ROGERS

Advertisement Amount Improvement Money

Always drink upstream from the herd.

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Always drink upstream from the herd.

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