It’s my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.
BILLY CONNOLLYA well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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There’s nothing better than a fight, especially when you’re watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he’s a big Jessie!
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I used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright Nooooooooow.
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didn’t even know there were specialist zombie magazines and clubs. I heard the other day that a radio station had asked people if they`d made preparations for an attack by zombies, and a staggering number of people replied yes!
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Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it’s easy – you simply look under the kilt, and if it’s a quarter-pounder, you know it’s a McDonald’s.
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Sometimes there’s a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I’ve ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
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Outgrew the media… The negativity felt like a disease.
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When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?
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I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
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A mate of mine has just told me he’s shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said “her brothers got a moustache!”
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If I had a hammer, there’d be no more folksingers.
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Try to live in a place you like.
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I’ve never done a comedy club in my life. It’s weird because I don’t have the same background as most comics. I don’t have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
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When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here?
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
BILLY CONNOLLY