Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
BOB HOPEIf I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
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To give you an idea of how fast we travelled – we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
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It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
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Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
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I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
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US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
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I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
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She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
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Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
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Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
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Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
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One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
BOB HOPE