“England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.”

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.

Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.

It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.

Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.

I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.

The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.

Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.

She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.

Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.

I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.

I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

The problem with you, son, is that all your brains are in your head. (to a Liverpool trainee)

The primary function of a constitution was to mark out the boundaries of governmental powers-hence in England, where there was no constitution , there were no limits (save for the effect of trail by jury) to what the legislature might do.

The only legitimate artists in England are the architects.

Poland nil, England nil, though England are now looking the better value for their nil.

…but in every century, and ever since England has been what it is, an Englishman has always felt somewhat ashamed of his own emotion and of his own sympathy.

You can get samosas in any pub in England today, pretty much. So, “Gunga Din” has come back.