A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPEUS President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
BOB HOPE -
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE -
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
BOB HOPE -
Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
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I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
BOB HOPE -
She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
BOB HOPE -
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
BOB HOPE -
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE -
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE -
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE -
That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
BOB HOPE -
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE -
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE -
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE -
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE -
I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
BOB HOPE -
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
BOB HOPE -
All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
BOB HOPE -
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE -
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE -
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
BOB HOPE -
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE -
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPE -
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE