Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
BILLY CONNOLLYWhen you involved in an accident and someone asks “are you alright?” Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
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I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
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Acting is a different discipline. On stage I’m free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.
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Oh aye…my Father would thrash me every now and then. He’d talk while he did it too! He’d hit me and shout, ‘Have ye had enough?’ Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? ‘Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???’
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There’s nothing better than a fight, especially when you’re watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he’s a big Jessie!
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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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Don’t buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They’re bastards, and they do it on purpose.
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People die all the time. It’s just that you’re not around.
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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I don’t have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I’ve done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that’s mostly what I’m offered.
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When I read ‘Be real, don’t get caught acting,’ I thought, ‘How the hell do you do that?’.
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I used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright Nooooooooow.
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If you give people a chance, they shine.
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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
BILLY CONNOLLY