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Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.

Bob Hope

Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Golf Lying
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPE

Country Littles People Promise Way
Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE

Country Fog Funny Remove
Lots of travel, away from home.
BOB HOPE

Away From Home Line One
A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
BOB HOPE

Doctors Funny Heart Operating Table
Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPE

Business Golf Green Pay
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
BOB HOPE

Button Country Funny Hotel Humorous Maid Press Room Service
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
BOB HOPE

Food Funny Humorous
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE

Balls Go Golf Yards
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
BOB HOPE

Gun Makeup Men Spray
That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Golf Loss Weight

Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.

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Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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