“The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.”

A loafer always has the correct time.

If at first you do succeed don’t take any more chances.

There isn’t much to be seen in a little town, but what you hear makes up for it.

Only one fellow in ten thousand understands the currency question, and we meet him every day.

We’d all like to vote for the best man but he’s never a candidate.

Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it’s by applause.

A friend that ain’t in need is a friend indeed.

I’m sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory.

Lots of fellows think a home is only good to borrow money on.

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn’t be so bad if they thought.

No matter how much strong black coffee we drink, almost any after- dinner speech will counteract it.

As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God’s path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony.

Don’t a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something.

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

Look out for the people who allow you to do all the talking.

You’ve got to challenge yourself, ski the double blacks, go out when it’s blowin’ and snowin’ as well as when it’s sunny and smooth.

Much to my mom’s credit, she said, “Yes, you can.” It didn’t matter to her that no other women were doing it at the time. It didn’t matter to her that there was a double standard. It just mattered that her daughter had a dream and she was going to help her pursue that.

The real stars are wearing body armor in 130-degree heat . . . They’re getting shot at and they don’t have any stunt doubles standing in for them.

I’m shocked at the sexism and double standard coming out of the far right.

Nature has laid out all her art in beautifying the face; she has touched it with vermilion, planted in it a double row of ivory, made it the seat of smiles and blushes, lighted it up and enlivened it with the brightness of the eyes.

Our new watches are made entirely of double super gold. They are just a piece of gold that you can wear to the left, right, or directly on top of the other gold you own.

The double pleasure of pulling down an opponent, and of raising oneself, is the charm of a politician’s life.

The brain of man, like that of all animals is double, being parted down its centre by a thin membrane. For this reason pain is not always felt in the same part of the head, but sometimes on one side, sometimes on the other, and occasionally all over.