“Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.”

I’m sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory.

Lots of fellows think a home is only good to borrow money on.

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn’t be so bad if they thought.

No matter how much strong black coffee we drink, almost any after- dinner speech will counteract it.

As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God’s path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony.

Don’t a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something.

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

Look out for the people who allow you to do all the talking.

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

The longer it takes you to select a cantaloupe, the worse it is!

There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?

Knowin’ all about baseball is just about as profitable as bein’ a good whittler.

It isn’t enough for you to love money – it’s also necessary that money should love you.

Honesty pays, but it doesn’t seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Never tell the box-office man that you can’t hear well or he will sell you a seat where you can’t see either.

You can’t make people be or do what you want. All you can do is be unapologetic about what you want and let others show up however they can.

You cannot behave appropriately, unless you perceive correctly. Once you perceive you are a beam of Light, that comes from the mind of God, you will carry yourself differently.

And it is certain that those who do not yield to their equals, who keep terms with their superiors, and are moderate towards their inferiors, on the whole succeed best.

Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.

Change is vital to any actor. If you keep playing lead after lead, you’re really gonna dry up. Because all those vehicles wean you away from the truths of human behaviour.

You can’t change someone’s behaviour, all you can do is remind them, and hope that Allah will change their heart.

There is a time for politeness and there is a time when you are obliged to be rude.

Spiritual maturity is measured in terms of persevering faith, not perfect behavior.