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If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.

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Enough Laugh Wrinkle

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Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beneath Breast Knee Law Left Mother Out Pain Trick Tuned
Remarrying a husband you’ve divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Appendix Back Divorce Husband Like Put Remarry
I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Chocolate Dirt Like Serve Show
The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Football never Olay Outfit Public Reason Same Wear Women
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Begin Else Everything Fal Maybe Out Spread Start True Wear
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Admit Away Boyfriend Drive Forty Live Mile Sex Tremendous
self-pity is better than none.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Better Ity None Self
I don’t know how you feel about old age… but in my case I didn’t even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Age Come How Feel Me Old Rear See Should
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Age Back Do Go More Than
Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Gold Have Health Important Jewelry Next Things
If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, ‘Who could have done this? We have no enemies!’
PHYLLIS DILLER

Come Enemy Geet House Mess Really Strange Win
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bed Fight Go never Stay Up
There’s such a buildup of crud in my oven, there’s only room to bake a single cupcake.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bake Buildup Crud Cupcake Open Roo Single Such
I was the world’s ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Baby Born Doctor Everybody Slap Ugly World
… if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don’t let them put the year.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Children Dust Furniture Love Name Write Yera
I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beuty Estimate Hour Seven Shop Spent

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