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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.

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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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Bed Make Money Stay
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNS

Drink Drunk Fourteenth Remember Take Thirteen Trouble
This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNS

Book Guy Raed Sixth Two Written
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS

Fake Got Honesty Important Made Most Thing
It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS

Aur Change Clean Dirty Hard Remember These Used
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS

Access Failure Hate Rather Something
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Die Few Got Hundred Made One Past People Very
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS

Bad Cigar Depend Good Handle Happiness Much Woman
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS

Boy Dead Only Sea Sick
At my age flowers scare me.
GEORGE BURNS

Age At Flower My Scare
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS

All Bad Country Cut Hair Know People Run Taxicab Too
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS

Be Know Learn Quick Wise
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS

Bad Busy Country Cut Drive Hair Know People Run Taxicab
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
GEORGE BURNS

Another Care City Close Family Happiness Knit Large Love
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Fidteenm Cigar Hold Smoke Something
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS

Because Future Go Life Look Rest Spend
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
GEORGE BURNS

Five Pimple Retirement Ridiculous Sixty
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS

Believe Besides Book Die Down Exist New Now
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS

Down Finally First Forget Name Net Pull Zipper
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS

Afford Die Lose Money Much Too
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS

Air Clean Dirty Remember Sex
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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Age Ninty Pool Sex Shoot Tope
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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One Spent Sunday Town Year
Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Anywhere Here Nice
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS

Age Cigar Holder Just Now Put Thrill
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
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Get Help Old Older
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS

And Bad Enough Good IT Pay Script

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