Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNSIf you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
More George Burns Quotes
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS