Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNSRetirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
More George Burns Quotes
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
GEORGE BURNS -
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNS -
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS -
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
GEORGE BURNS -
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
GEORGE BURNS -
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNS -
This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
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If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS -
At my age flowers scare me.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS






