Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNSRetirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
More George Burns Quotes
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS