“It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.”

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

How can I die? I’m booked.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.

I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

Truth is all there is. It’s like when you learned how to read, you can then read anywhere you go.

I was happy anywhere I could see the ocean.

Getting carried away is stupid, it won’t get me anywhere. -Nana Komatsu

If you were able to give up control absolutely, totally, and completely, then you would be a spiritually free being.

I think journalism can come from anywhere, and comedy can certainly come from anywhere.

And you can’t go anywhere in the sky unless you have a plane or some kind of rocket.

The main trend with the theme episodes is that anywhere there is a misconception about the way the physical world works, we’re finding fertile material.

Anywhere else is a horribly dangerous time for women and minorities.