I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNSWhen I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
More George Burns Quotes
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS






