You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNSWhen I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
More George Burns Quotes
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
GEORGE BURNS -
How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
GEORGE BURNS -
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS -
Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
At my age flowers scare me.
GEORGE BURNS -
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS