“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

At my age flowers scare me.

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

How can I die? I’m booked.

When a system is stable, telling the worker about mistakes is only tampering.

For me as an actor, there’s only so many things I can do, and this is a way, through a film, to teach and hopefully get the message out to young kids.

Anybody can direct, but there are only eleven good writers.

You do not merely want to be considered just the best of the best. You want to be considered the only one who does what you do.

If you’re looking for immediate rewards, you’re only looking for the money.

I don’t know if I’m different from everybody else, but there’s really only two things to me that are really, really important – recruiting good players in the program and developing those players once they get here.

It only takes a politician believing in what he says for the others to stop believing him.

He that will believe only what he can fully comprehend must have a long head or a very short creed.