All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
RON WHITE
My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
More Ron White Quotes
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All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith’s ‘What It Was, Was Football.’ I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn’t know what any of it meant.
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My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
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Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
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I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.
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I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
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If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
RON WHITE