“There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.”

I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.

I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.

My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.

We always go out looking for live music after our shows.

I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.

If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.

I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.

I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.

If I’m not in the theatre, I’m in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club, or whatever, just trying to develop stuff.

I write all of my material. It’s all me.

I’ve gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we’re going to see if we can’t bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits.

I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.

Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.

I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.

I think the world has their own good, clean, Christian comedy. They don’t need my help.

Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.

Everybody fights demons. Some are worse than others.

Demons don’t play by the rules. They lie and they cheat and they stab in the back.

As for getting there … it’s a choice between sinning and being tricked by demons It’s a plane of evil … despair … and magic of the foulest kind.

The creative urge is the demon that will not accept anything second rate.

There’s a demon in me, and he’s still around. Without the dope, we have a bit more of a chat these days.

The past came to hunt her, but she prepared to fight her demons. She was now a fair believer of herself.

I dance with my demons and live to tell the tale.

I’m just a demon that means well. Freelance for God, but do the work of Satan.