You can’t fix stupid.
RON WHITEIf I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I’m not having fun.
More Ron White Quotes
-
-
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He’s probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can’t say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.
RON WHITE -
I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn’t care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
RON WHITE -
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
RON WHITE -
The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
RON WHITE -
I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit.
RON WHITE -
My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
RON WHITE -
I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
RON WHITE -
I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
RON WHITE -
I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
RON WHITE -
I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
RON WHITE -
A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
RON WHITE -
If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
RON WHITE -
You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
RON WHITE -
But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
RON WHITE -
I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
RON WHITE -
Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
RON WHITE -
I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.
RON WHITE -
I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
RON WHITE -
Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
RON WHITE -
I write all of my material. It’s all me.
RON WHITE -
If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
RON WHITE -
I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
RON WHITE -
We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
RON WHITE -
Comedy is all about the pause.
RON WHITE -
I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
RON WHITE -
My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
RON WHITE