I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
RON WHITEWe always go out looking for live music after our shows.
More Ron White Quotes
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
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I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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You can’t fix stupid.
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
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I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn’t care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
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Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
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I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit.
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
RON WHITE






