I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
RON WHITEA killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
More Ron White Quotes
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I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
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There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
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The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
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My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
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I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
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People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
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My goal is just to become a better comedian.
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
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Comedy is all about the pause.
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People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it in.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I’ve always done. That’s really where my best stuff comes from. I don’t know how it happens. It just happens.
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
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