As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KINGYou know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
More Alan King Quotes
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
ALAN KING