Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KINGYou know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
More Alan King Quotes
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
ALAN KING






