“I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.”

As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.

It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.

I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.

Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

I was a high school throw-out.

My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.

I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.

My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.

My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.

And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?

There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.

The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.

If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.

I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.

Give, do not lend; after death who will thank you?

Never give children a chance of imagining that anything exists in isolation. Make it plain from the very beginning that all living is relationship. Show them relationships in the woods, in the fields, in the ponds and streams, in the village and in the country around it. Rub it in.

I’m going to give input when I need to. When it needs to be said.

Beauty is the experience that gives us a sense of joy and a sense of peace simultaneously.

Rather, love is a way of being, a “giving to,” not a ‘falling for”; a mode of relating at large, not an act limited to a single person.

People give one another things that can’t be gift wrapped.

I’m very educated and can give you somewhat of a vocabulary, but I don’t get to the philosophical side.

If you and your child were going to be killed tomorrow, would you not give him to eat today?