If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KINGI didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
More Alan King Quotes
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
ALAN KING -
I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
ALAN KING -
There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
ALAN KING -
An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
ALAN KING -
Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KING