This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
ADAM CAROLLAThe very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
ADAM CAROLLA