I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
ADAM CAROLLA