I’m a comedian, not a politician.
ADAM CAROLLAEveryone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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