A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
ADAM CAROLLAThere are certain things women are better at than men.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
ADAM CAROLLA






