It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
ADAM CAROLLAWhen Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
-
-
I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
ADAM CAROLLA -
If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA -
You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
ADAM CAROLLA -
When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
ADAM CAROLLA -
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
ADAM CAROLLA -
A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
ADAM CAROLLA -
This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
ADAM CAROLLA -
People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
ADAM CAROLLA -
My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I’m a comedian, not a politician.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
ADAM CAROLLA






