I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
ADAM CAROLLA
Welfare is monetary methadone.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
ADAM CAROLLA