The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
ADAM CAROLLAWelfare is monetary methadone.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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