There are certain things women are better at than men.
ADAM CAROLLAI’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLA






