I’d never hurt another person.
ADAM CAROLLAI’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
ADAM CAROLLA