You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
ADAM CAROLLAPeople who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
ADAM CAROLLA