I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
ADAM CAROLLAIt’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
-
-
We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
ADAM CAROLLA -
You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
ADAM CAROLLA -
It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
ADAM CAROLLA -
That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
ADAM CAROLLA -
The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
ADAM CAROLLA -
My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
ADAM CAROLLA -
You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
ADAM CAROLLA -
No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
ADAM CAROLLA -
The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I know everything because I know nothing.
ADAM CAROLLA -
To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
ADAM CAROLLA -
All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
ADAM CAROLLA -
We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
ADAM CAROLLA