For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
TIM ALLENThe big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
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I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.
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I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
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I do a lot of family shows.
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All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
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Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
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I have a thing for tools.
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My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
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If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
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You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
TIM ALLEN