Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
BILL MAHERIf you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
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Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
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False hope really makes you cynical.
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To those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
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Hollywood isn’t your cesspool, America. It’s your mirror.
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In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
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It’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
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There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
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I don’t say that I’m an atheist. I don’t like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don’t know. And if you don’t know – and you don’t – just man up and say you don’t know. Don’t turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
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The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you’ll wind up with a lover.
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The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
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I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
BILL MAHER






