“Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.”

You know, there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time, husband!!!

It’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.

Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.

The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’

Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in ‘Dancing with the Stars.’

As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.

Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.

Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.

Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.

Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it’s sexy but one thing that men never think is, “Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read.”

Hollywood isn’t your cesspool, America. It’s your mirror.

What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.

Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.

Let’s make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake – you know, to send the right message to kids.

You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.

To die for God is not a proof of faith in God. To die for an unknown and repulsive convict who is a victim of injustice, that is a proof of faith in God.

A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.

The tyranny that now exists is actual. That which may exist in the future is potential. If we are always to draw back from change with the thought that the change may be for the worse, then there is no hope at all of ever escaping injustice.

Instead of hating the people you think are war-makers, hate the appetites and disorder in your own soul, which are the causes of war. If you love peace, then hate injustice, hate tyranny, hate greed – but hate these things in yourself, not in another.

To protest against injustice is the foundation of all our American democracy.

Wherever there is great property, there is great inequality.

It is unjust that the whole of society should contribute towards an expence of which the benefit is confined to a part of the society.

The violence and injustice of the rulers of mankind is an ancient evil, for which, I am afraid, the nature of human affairs can scarce admit a remedy.