I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned, That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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I’ve learned, That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
ANDY ROONEY -
Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
ANDY ROONEY -
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
ANDY ROONEY -
All of us talk faster than we listen.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
ANDY ROONEY -
Go to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.
ANDY ROONEY -
Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
ANDY ROONEY -
Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
ANDY ROONEY -
You can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY -
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
ANDY ROONEY -
Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
ANDY ROONEY -
The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
ANDY ROONEY