I’ve learned, That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
ANDY ROONEYThe third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
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Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
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I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.
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I’ve learned, That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
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Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
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Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
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I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
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I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
ANDY ROONEY -
One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
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Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
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I’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
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We’re all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
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You can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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It’s paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.
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The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
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I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
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Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
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I’ve learned. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you more.
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Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY -
No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
ANDY ROONEY