“I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people’s idea of patriotism is hating other countries.”

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?

The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.

I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.

I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.

A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.

I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.

All of us talk faster than we listen.

My most serious character flaw is that I don’t deny myself much.

I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

I’m always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.

Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.

For 244 years our democracy has worked and this is no exception.

Surveys like this are also conducted by other countries. We should handle this calmly under international law.

Haha come fight us now Napoleon.

The United States and Russian security services regularly exchange information.

All of us – UNITED.

I am Armenian, so of course I am obsessed with laser hair removal! Arms, bikini, legs, underarms – my entire body is hairless.

None of what Barack Obama is doing or wants to do to this country is anything the rest of the world hasn’t seen before and already failed at.

Our military might is the guarantor of Russia’s security and independence.