Computers aren’t intelligent, they only think they are.
EMO PHILIPSI’ve been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I’m pleased to say I’ve won.
More Emo Philips Quotes
-
-
Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair.
EMO PHILIPS -
If an asteroid is coming toward you, you don’t have to blow it up. You just have to slow it down long enough for our country to rotate out of the way.
EMO PHILIPS -
Interviewers always used to ask me about my pageboy haircut, and it drove me nuts: it almost made me suspect that there was something strange about it. So I cut off my pageboy.
EMO PHILIPS -
You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers…damn anthropologists.
EMO PHILIPS -
My parents had very strict rules for me. Rules like, I couldn’t be home until a certain hour.
EMO PHILIPS -
So I’m at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.
EMO PHILIPS -
I’ve always thought the best way to teach a kid not to be scared of the dark is to fill his daylight hours with as much horror as possible.
EMO PHILIPS -
When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn’t involve a magic spell.
EMO PHILIPS -
The other day a woman came up to me and said, Didn’t I see you on television? I said, I don’t know. You can’t see out the other way.
EMO PHILIPS -
You know what I hate? Indian givers… no, I take that back.
EMO PHILIPS -
When I was a kid, my favourite time of the year when I was child was that magical first snowfall. I’d yell Yippee! Snow! and run up to the front door and shout You know the deal… You have to let me in now.
EMO PHILIPS -
My parents were very protective. I couldn’t even cross the street without them getting all excited, and placing bets.
EMO PHILIPS -
My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.
EMO PHILIPS -
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
EMO PHILIPS -
I’m learning Cuban. It’s like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.
EMO PHILIPS