You know what I hate? Indian givers… no, I take that back.
EMO PHILIPS
The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence… sort of like the Post Office with tanks.
More Emo Philips Quotes
-
You know what I hate? Indian givers… no, I take that back.
EMO PHILIPS -
I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the sound of the crashing surfers against the rocks.
EMO PHILIPS -
One man’s pet-stained carpet is another man’s Twister game.
EMO PHILIPS -
My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.
EMO PHILIPS -
I think fur looks better on an animal than on a human being. So I dress my dog in a mink teddy.
EMO PHILIPS -
-
When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I’ve tried other enemas.
EMO PHILIPS -
-
The American government is making nuclear weapons like there’s no tomorrow.
EMO PHILIPS -
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
EMO PHILIPS -
My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
EMO PHILIPS -
The battle of the sexes will never be won as long as we keep sleeping with the enemy.
EMO PHILIPS -
I caught my wife in bed with my best friend the other day. I was crushed. They could have waited till I’d got out.
EMO PHILIPS -
I’m filthy stinking rich – well, two out of three ain’t bad.
EMO PHILIPS -
If an asteroid is coming toward you, you don’t have to blow it up. You just have to slow it down long enough for our country to rotate out of the way.
EMO PHILIPS -
